::I hope you brought a snack or something because this is long::


I have decided to finally return to my blog. Man, it’s been a while. I’ve been so stupid busy. Sorry. But have I got some news for YOU (referring to me).

First: What a great weekend I had. I drove a car home for my dad that he bought up here in K-town. It’s a 2000 Mercury Sable that he bought for $3300! And apparently it’s mine now. So THAT’S cool. No, it’s not my dream car, but it’s SO much nicer than my ‘90 Accord. It’s going to be a bit sad leaving my Accord forever. I’ve done so much to and for it. I have added:

*an indiglo Honda emblem to trunk’s emblem space
*3 sets of fog lights (over the years) (most recently I added projector fog lights which I really dig.)
*blue LED parking lights
*blue LED windshield washer lights
*clear corner lenses
*blue indiglo pedals
*a blue Varad e.l. scanner
*a 12” Kicker Comp VR subwoofer (with 700 watt Kenwood amp)
*and a keyless entry / remote starter

I’ve also gone through the “xenon” bulbs, which are generally a load of crap and actually impair your night vision rather than improve. I finally got a set of Sylvania Silverstar bulbs for it. ANYwho…

I’m sort of not looking forward to leaving her. However . . . The Sable, like I said, is very nice. It has leather trim everywhere, a 6 disc CD changer under the armrest, an ARMREST, adjustable pedals, a very nice sound system (I don’t know if I’m going to be able to transfer my sub over to it or not), etc. Anyway, it’s real nice. AND quiet. I was actually able to listen to classical music on the way home on the interstate. It is virtually impossible to listen to classical music in my accord on the interstate because classical music (and other orchestrated music (i.e. movie scores)) is so dynamic that I would have to turn up the soft parts because I couldn’t hear them and then turn down the loud parts because, well, they’d be too loud. And I HATE adjusting the volume for that reason. You totally lose the effect that was intended.

Second: Now because of this experience on my way home, I have rediscovered my classical music! Oh man, I’ve missed you (referring to my classical music collection). My favorite pieces generally include a piano (not always true of course (“Emperor’s Hymn” by Haydn)). I’ve recently realized how amazing Chopin’s work is. And if you ask me, Mozart and Bach are pussies compared to Chopin and Rachmaninoff when it comes to piano. I’m not saying their stuff’s not good. No no no. In fact, I’m working on a piece by Bach right now called Prelude in C. It’s so pretty I could play it for hours, but on a difficulty scale from 1 to 10, it’s easy. However, something I just remembered; you HAVE to give Bach a hand for his organ pieces. Holy crap those are crazy. Okay, so that makes up for his piano pieces. So just Mozart’s a pussy (unless someone can prove otherwise). Which brings me to my third point… one of the greatest concertos for piano and orchestra ever written is “the rach” No. 3 by Rachmaninoff. Just incredible. Have you ever seen “Shine”? Yeah, it’s in that. This thing sounds more like a movie score at times than something you’d hear at the symphony. It also has one of the greatest finales I have ever heard. Oh, and it’s one of the hardest piano pieces ever written. Just watch the movie and you’ll see; trying to learn it makes you go crazy.

Another piece is Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 by Liszt. I don’t do much Liszt. I don’t know why, I just don’t. But this song! Amazing. I’ve seen the sheet music to this and it’s impossible. You can’t play it it’s that hard. (You probably heard this song in “Roger Rabbit”.)

Finally (for now): You’re lucky you’re reading this because I’m about to enlighten you on the controversial issue of…quick sand. I used to think that quick sand’s sucking you down characteristic (as seen in movies) wasn’t real. Because how could you sink in something more dense than water? Well, my 10th grade Biology teacher told me I was wrong and that it did in fact suck things in. Well I finally learned something during one of my engineering classes the other day (soil mechanics, to be more specific). I was RIGHT! All quick sand is is a sandy soil with an upward water force in it. This water spaces the soil particle out just enough so that they hardly touch. Therefore removing any shear strength the soil had. Now, a large object like a car or something would definitely sink because its specific gravity is way more than water, but ours generally isn’t (especially us husky folk). However, you can, in fact, sink because just like in water, if you struggle a lot rather than just breathing regular and floating, you will sink. The bottom line is this: If you ever find yourself in quicksand, just take in a deep breathe and you should pop right up to the surface. You’re welcome.

Okay it’s big time late now and I have a Hydrology test tomorrow (the 2nd of 2 exams (the first of which I screwed the pooch on)) and I need to do oh so well.

goodnight and goodmorrow to you.

Oh yeah, and I shaved for the first time since October, I think. I look retarded.

Well, that was a bit of a hectic weekend. First off, I didn’t know if we were even going to get to play the National Anthem for my brother’s Eagle Scout ceremony because we were already short one person when Scott found out that he couldn’t make it unless absolutely necessary. Then, I didn’t think we were going have ANY practice time on the piece. And I wasn’t about to go in there and play like crap just to have the song played. Fortunately, Jordan FINALLY got John Kidd to fill Scott’s place. And since we couldn’t seem to find another trombone, Jordan stepped in. Then, on top of all that, I hit all of my high Ab’s. Yeah me. I’m glad it’s all over. I KNOW my parents are glad.

My Jesse is a bit ill and she’s not having a good day today. I hope she gets to nap and feels better.

Even though I dislike driving 2.5 hours home, I enjoy home. Especially lately. I don’t care much for the atmosphere here at school. It tends to put me in somewhat of an off mood, which leads to a bad kind of mood. I always feel better after a weekend at home. Even though this was a busy weekend, I had the nicest car ride back to school with Jess. First, my allergy medicine knocked me out big time for about half an hour and then we stopped and grabbed food and a parfait from McDonald’s and the temperature in the car was perfect and I was reclined and just so comfortable. Thank you, Jesse, for a lovely car ride.

At this point it’s hard to even imagine that stuff happened last week like it did. I’m not even sure why it did. I talked stuff out with a few people (which turned out fine), but left a large part open. It appears to have closed itself up, but for how long I don’t know. History would dictate that it’s only a matter of time before it opens up again. The problem is that I don’t know how to fix it nor does it seem I can avoid it. I don’t know what to do. I guess just wait till next time. I’d rather not, but I don’t think it’s in my power anymore to do otherwise.

I hope this last part of school doesn’t end my life. I think it will though. Dang, it.

josho

POC 2: (my last public explaination)

Do you guys understand that I'm not trying to single each one of you out by pointing out problems? That wasn't my reasoning behind what I wrote. And I thought I made that clear when I included myself, but I guess most of you read around that. If you're going to read my journal, I wish you read it exactly how I write it instead of making assumptions. I spent a lot of time last night writing my last entry in exactly the words I wanted and I still feel that they are what I mean. None of what I said was a secret or anything. These are things that everyone knows. And I am really sorry that I offended some of you. I didn't write any of this with intentions of offending people or anything like that. I really and truly wrote it for myself. I'd be more than happy to discuss anything with anyone. However, please don't forget that this is my journal and I feel that I have a right to write down how I feel. I'm not trying to slander anyone here or post any big secrets that people shouldn't know. Back to my original statement . . . The reason I pointed something out in EVERYONE was so that I WOULDN'T single out anyone. It was to show that everyone is at fault at times for the environment and atmosphere we live in. Not just me. (Although I'm sure I've done my fair share though.) And lately I've just been wondering why it has to be this way, that's all.


josh

POINT OF CLARIFICATION: (for the masses I apparently worried and/or offended)

[Maybe my last entry is written in a way that doesn't best display the way i feel. I don't really know if this one explains my words any better, but it will certainly give you insight into what's going through my head.]

No, I don't really want to kick the shit out of you guys for saying something to my girlfriend. That's ridiculous. But sometimes, you guys really piss me off in the stuff that you say to her. She hardly ever warrants it. And yes, I realize that 98% of the time youre just joking, but why does it have to be that way? Why can't HG stop calling scott gay and stupid? Why is Samantha an even bigger target than Scott? Yeah, she says stupid stuff sometimes, but half the time it's not even about some comment she made. It's just said because that's the way you treat her day in and day out. Why does Scholes never talk about anything serious? He has to have an opinion, right? Why am I distancing myself from everyone? Why do I feel like no one around me can relate? Relate to what? I HAVE NO IDEA! Why does Todd give me written "advice" in a manner completely different from the way he speaks to me? I'm not your english professor, Todd. I don't care how fancy you can write. Why does Samantha get so freakin' upset over the silliest of things? And why does Todd think that his situation with Sam is something that has never happened before? You think you've just invented a new relationship scenario? Get real.

Yeah, I understand everyone's cutting down of everyone else is "just the way everyone is" according to Scott, but why? Why have we grown into this lifestyle? Maybe it's healthy and the way it should. I mean, we generally are able to talk stuff out, right? Well, at least hg, scott and myself can. And I'm probably just as guilty as any one in all of this. (Although, I doubt I have been so much lately since I'm recognizing it and it's bothering me.)

Perhaps my thoughts on this (standing up for jesse) aren't the healthiest, but it's not like I've never said anything about this before to everyone. How many times does one have to? I'm sorry that I'm the "way I am", but I don't see you guys making any active effort to change either. And I think that everyone of you knows what it's like to have a sibling or best friend or anyone you care deeply for get made fun of or cut down or yelled at. It's very upsetting, to say the least.

Whether you understand this or not, I don't know. But I do hope you understand that I don't care if jesse is completely wrong about something; if you make her feel bad in any way, I promise, we will have words.

goodnight.

I went to my FIRST drive-in movie last night! It was AWESOME. It only cost $5 per person, you got to bring as much food and candy in as you wanted, and the movie sound comes in through your car stereo (of course, i had to unplug my amp or my car wouldve been dead in 10 min)! We watched Catch Me If You Can and Just Married. Those are the good parts about last ngiht. The bad part was that I got so mad from the error in directions from Mapquest that I thought I was gonna explode. Luckily, I didn't and we made it there just in time to get a good spot for the movie. Overall, a very successful night.

I started my Science and Engineering vs. Humanities page the other day. I hope it turns out to be a success. Jesse hates the idea that any of us not in Humanities think we might be better than anyone in in Humanities. I think the page is a funny idea that everyone will like. Especially wordy todd. He really went to town with big words and analogies (i guess trying to drive his point home). (too bad he's an ignorant slut) (hahahaha). So we'll see how it turns out.

My dad told me yesterday that I seemed removed lately. I kind of feel like I am. School is doing its usual to me and with all of this Hungary stuff I'm having to prepare for, I'm feeling a bit more distant than usual. I also feel like jesse and I haven't had much time for each other recently. I feel like I'm just kind of . . . there. And I don't think it's going to get any better until school lets out. I have project on project on project coming up and I just don't know how it's going to get better before it gets worse. I don't know how well school treats me. I lot of times I don't like the person it makes me.

What's the deal with todd and jesse? Why can't they get along? Not only that, but didn't todd and sam go their separate ways 2 YEARS ago? Are they afraid to branch out and try new things? Maybe they actually think they're right for each other but aren't ready for it. I don't really know. But back to jesse and todd. Why does he feel like he has to be like, one up on people. It's funny because recently todd and I have been less at odds than we have been in a long time. I never even knew why we were and todd never really explained it when i asked him.So as our relationship gets better, theirs gets worse. It doesn't have to be that way. I also feel bad for jesse at times. Like when she tells me how tired she gets tired of scott saying, "you're so pretty" or any of todd's random-mean-time comments (and it's not just scott or todd, but from everyone), it really makes me wanna go kick the shit out of the next person who says anything questionable to her. I guess I'm biased, but I don't think it matters.

I gotta run home and eat now. Be back later.

[11.0 pm]
Okay I'm back now. This lab is going NO where. So I decided to scan crap from my wallet. I'll put it on my website. It's gonna be sweet.

I don't understand it when HG puts up such a fight over something stupid that he's usually being ridiculous about. I think that maybe he does realize he's being ridiculous at some point, but by that time he's already put too much into and can't turn back. I don't know.

that is all.

Well i studied two nights this week for a toto of about 4 hrs for my soils test. I went to take it this morning and yada yada yada, holy shit. MAN i failed it. The last part of the test was so simple but i got everything mixed up. All of the sudden pore pressure and pressure head were the exact same thing in my mind. That was a bad thing. Son of a bitch. I hope others had an equal amount of trouble. I don't know. Anyway, so i sat through about 25 min of my next class (hydrology), during which he talked about our class participation and how it will affect our grade (luckily only for the good). I was prepared to skip hydrology, but i went in there for a min because someone had something i needed to look at for a later class. So after he finished talking about a project we have to do, i got up and left. All i could think about was how badly i wanted to go to sleep and never wake up . . . or at least for a 2 months. I'm in there everyday. Only about half of the actual class shows up and I'm in that minority so i think its okay. I told him 'sorry' as i walked out. i think he understood. So i did go home and sleep and woke up about 2 pm to come meet a guy over here in Perkins and he's not here and I've been here for 45 minutes now and i'm about to leave because i'm getting pissed and i dont know why he's not here.

Why does it feel like I'm just trying to make it through the day everyday of the week? I don't know how much more i can do like this. Every week i'm just struggling to make it to the end of thursday so that i can calm down and not be pressed to do engineering work. What the shit am i doing?? AND WHERE'S THAT GUY?? I feel like i'm weeks behind where i should be and i just can't catch up. . . . . okay he just showed up, i feel a little better.

Do i have too much going on? I don't know. I hate to think that stuff has to be this way. The other day i was thinking about the idea of being a physics teacher in High School and it really sounded like a fun idea to me. I mean, it really did. I'd get to teach kids about stuff that i know like the back of my hand. It's not like it would even be difficult physics. Do you know how many people don't realize that a bullet shot from a gun and one dropped and the same moment will hit the ground at the same time? (assuming the gun is shot horizontally) A lot of them. Especially high school students. The idea of sharing what i know with others really appeals to me. For example, I'm so looking forward to having kids because I'm gonna tell them everything i know and they're gonna be smart. Way smarter than me. How rewarding would that be if i could do that for a living? Sure i'm not thinking about having to grade papers and how little I'd get paid, but i don't know. It sounds like a lot of fun. I should ask Mr. Lewis about it if i ever really begin to consider it. Oh well.

that's all for now. gotta go work on a lab report or sleep. at least tomorrow is friday. I love mon, wed, and fri. Those are the days that i have no engineering classes to attend.

That's IT! I could major in teaching high school physics and minor in Film Studies! holy CRAP. That might just make me the happiest man EVER! Just think how long I'd live if i was that happy! I'd just have to figure out what to do about the money part. We'll see.

later

I didn't write any last week because i sat around and did nothing all day. EXCEPT for when i went and ate chinese food for lunch every day and when i went to see About Schmidt. About Schmidt was excellent. It was a bit of a different role than you're used to seeing Jack Nicholson in. It was also just as sad as it was funny . . . and it was pretty funny. It was just a real classic story of someone reaching the end of their life and contemplating what difference they've made. And of course Jack did a wonderful job, as usual. The ending really caught me off gaurd and i was a little put off by it. But the more i've thought about it, the more I've realized how its the perfect ending for what the movie is saying. He just wanted to make a difference in someone's life; to leave behind something right that he did.

Then we went and saw The Hours on saturday. I had a little bit of trouble relating to the story because it was about women and stuff, but i still thought it was a really cool movie. The way they intertwined the 3 time periods was great; also, how they all related to each other. There was really great editing. And acting for that fact. Meryl Streep's character is just pathetic to me. I have trouble feeling sorry for her. It was similar in Adaptation (which is an AWESOME movie).

Then we watched the Oscars last night (oh yeah and war started wednesday, i believe). I disagreed with some of the choices of winners. I wish that chicago hadn't won so many awards. Anyway, the foolish Michael Moore and his anti-bush propaganda. Someone needs to explain a bit of etiquette to that guy. Because you can't just go around doing that and expect to maintain credibility. In the after oscar press questionaire he kept going on about how he was an american and his right to free speech. Yeah that great and all, but thats no excuse for being an ass to people. An awards ceremony, free speech or not, is niether the time nor the place for slandering our president. Holy crap. At the question dealie afterwards, someone asked why he did it and he answered, "Because I'm an American." Then there was silence for about 10 seconds until the reporter said, "That's it??" I was glad he said that because i was thinking the same thing. THAT'S IT?? THAT'S your reason?? That's ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I think he's really good at making movies, but he's a bit super liberal for me.

Okay, so Scholes just gave me a new frisbee to replace the last one, so now everything is cool. Not that all i wanted was simply a replacement, just some sort of explaination for what happened. Which i got. I'm impressed that he confronted me because he isn't one for that kind of stuff. anywho.

I think I'd like to write about the war situation, but not now. Soon though.

We took Pappert to Atlanta yesterday. It's kind of depressing driving that far (260 somethin' miles) just to turn around and come right back. I think we could've planned that out better. I guess that's what i get for not participating in the planning phase. But dangit, I dont like to always be the one who has to plan stuff. Overall, the trip was very pleasant and relaxing. We left with plenty of time to get there and everything worked out fine. Pappert even got a nappy-wappy in the car.

Jon's away message is still there. Going on the 3 days now. Hmmm.

I'm glad i didnt have to drive back to school today. And that i have all week to sit around and do whatever. What I NEED to do is get out and see some movies! I just dont have the time during school.

Ah well, I'm off to make some adirondack chairs. Either that or shower. I haven't done that in a few days.

Big entry time.

CAUTION: when i get into this stream of conscious type writing, i tend to leave out words and/or letters. so i leave it up to you for necessary inferences.

Man, yesterday was semi depressing. I only had one class, but had to get up 9.5 am to work on a lab and hydology homework. For those of you thinking about taking Hydrology...don't. I just really dont get into watersheds and whatnot. I think I'd like school a lot better if most of my classes were half as long as they currently are. Then I would learn interesting facts but I wouldn't be in there long enough to develop a hatred. I don't know. Anyway, after i got done with my one class, I had to go back to my engineering building and finish my work.

I hate being the last one to leave school. Jesse tried to wait for me but I was going to be too long, so I told her to leave (i could tell she really wanted to be on time. I did too, but I wasn't going to speed home just so no one would say anything like, "well what a surprise!" So help me, if someone had, I probably would have lost it...big time.) Speaking of almost losing it, why do jon's away messages always sound like a soap opera? I wish i could help him or something. Geez. I hope he's alright. His last message could have been SLIGHTLY more uplifting than they were. I just checked it and it's the same message that was there almost 2 days ago. Hope he's alright.

Something else that pissed me off? Scholes took my frisbee with him to New York. It's not that i mind him borrowing. Not at all. I do mind him STEALing it though. And on top of that Scott wasn't supposed to tell me that he took it. Why would he not ask me?? i don't get it. I guess he gets a kick out of taking things. His past would certainly confirm that. But it still bugs me. A lot.

It was nice to eat dinner with everyone last night at Olive Garden. I highly recommend the Chicken Alfredo Pizza. Our waiter offered those who were 21 a free sample of wine. I was the only one who had some. It was only like a quarter of a glass and i must say, I'm no wine expert, but it was the best wine I've had thus far. (it was white. good thing too because i don't think i like red much). My favorite part was when he asked for my ID. Wait...that didn't happen. Interesting. I guess he just caught up in all the excitement of the Olive Garden.

Then, after dinner, Pappert and I stopped by my house before heading to Scott's because I came straight from K-town to the Garden. After initial functions at the burka domain, we went over to the high school football field and threw frisbee. MAN, was it awesome frisbee weather. There was NO wind and it must've been about 60°-65°. Just perfect. I absolutely love throwing a fribee around. Especially when we have enough room that i can really open up and let it go. It's just a wonderful thing. I think one of the things that draws me to frisbee is te finesse it takes to be good at it (as opposed to throwing other objects). I feel like anyone can pick up a baseball and let it rip with fairly good results. But a frisbee. It's just different. And it makes me very happy.

We actually saw Johnna last which is an oddity in itself. We NEVER see her. She seemed in good health (not counting the whole "smoking" thing). We had a bit of a fart-a-thon back at scott's before bed, but she didn't really get into that. Phhht...girls. go figure.

On a side note, I'm pretty sure I've had an eye migraine this whole time because everytime i blink or look at the moniter i see a faint flash of light in the upper right corner of my vision. That's a pretty good sign of one. That and they feel like i just got punched in both of them.

I guess I should start making preparations for next semester, now that I'm definitely going. I'm not sure if I think about it in terms of me definitely going yet. It's really exciting to think of all that i might get to see. The Alps. The Carpathian Mtns. Yugoslavia! So awesome. Mrs. Burka told about these Hungarian bros. she has in her class. I think I'll meet them. And I need to start learning Hungarian. .

This should be enough for now.

Enter day 3 of pappert.

Ha ha. Jesse got caught stealing templates by eccentric ann. Hope you learned your lesson, which is: only stealers steal.

Was anyone else outside during the 1 minute downpour? Because I was. Luckily it stopped no more than 10 seconds after I entered my building.

maybe i'll think of more to write later.

probably not.