24 April 2003

::I hope you brought a snack or something because this is long::

I have decided to finally return to my blog. Man, it’s been a while. I’ve been so stupid busy. Sorry. But have I got some news for YOU (referring to me).

First: What a great weekend I had. I drove a car home for my dad that he bought up here in K-town. It’s a 2000 Mercury Sable that he bought for $3300! And apparently it’s mine now. So THAT’S cool. No, it’s not my dream car, but it’s SO much nicer than my ‘90 Accord. It’s going to be a bit sad leaving my Accord forever. I’ve done so much to and for it. I have added:

*an indiglo Honda emblem to trunk’s emblem space
*3 sets of fog lights (over the years) (most recently I added projector fog lights which I really dig.)
*blue LED parking lights
*blue LED windshield washer lights
*clear corner lenses
*blue indiglo pedals
*a blue Varad e.l. scanner
*a 12” Kicker Comp VR subwoofer (with 700 watt Kenwood amp)
*and a keyless entry / remote starter

I’ve also gone through the “xenon” bulbs, which are generally a load of crap and actually impair your night vision rather than improve. I finally got a set of Sylvania Silverstar bulbs for it. ANYwho…

I’m sort of not looking forward to leaving her. However . . . The Sable, like I said, is very nice. It has leather trim everywhere, a 6 disc CD changer under the armrest, an ARMREST, adjustable pedals, a very nice sound system (I don’t know if I’m going to be able to transfer my sub over to it or not), etc. Anyway, it’s real nice. AND quiet. I was actually able to listen to classical music on the way home on the interstate. It is virtually impossible to listen to classical music in my accord on the interstate because classical music (and other orchestrated music (i.e. movie scores)) is so dynamic that I would have to turn up the soft parts because I couldn’t hear them and then turn down the loud parts because, well, they’d be too loud. And I HATE adjusting the volume for that reason. You totally lose the effect that was intended.

Second: Now because of this experience on my way home, I have rediscovered my classical music! Oh man, I’ve missed you (referring to my classical music collection). My favorite pieces generally include a piano (not always true of course (“Emperor’s Hymn” by Haydn)). I’ve recently realized how amazing Chopin’s work is. And if you ask me, Mozart and Bach are pussies compared to Chopin and Rachmaninoff when it comes to piano. I’m not saying their stuff’s not good. No no no. In fact, I’m working on a piece by Bach right now called Prelude in C. It’s so pretty I could play it for hours, but on a difficulty scale from 1 to 10, it’s easy. However, something I just remembered; you HAVE to give Bach a hand for his organ pieces. Holy crap those are crazy. Okay, so that makes up for his piano pieces. So just Mozart’s a pussy (unless someone can prove otherwise). Which brings me to my third point… one of the greatest concertos for piano and orchestra ever written is “the rach” No. 3 by Rachmaninoff. Just incredible. Have you ever seen “Shine”? Yeah, it’s in that. This thing sounds more like a movie score at times than something you’d hear at the symphony. It also has one of the greatest finales I have ever heard. Oh, and it’s one of the hardest piano pieces ever written. Just watch the movie and you’ll see; trying to learn it makes you go crazy.

Another piece is Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 by Liszt. I don’t do much Liszt. I don’t know why, I just don’t. But this song! Amazing. I’ve seen the sheet music to this and it’s impossible. You can’t play it it’s that hard. (You probably heard this song in “Roger Rabbit”.)

Finally (for now): You’re lucky you’re reading this because I’m about to enlighten you on the controversial issue of…quick sand. I used to think that quick sand’s sucking you down characteristic (as seen in movies) wasn’t real. Because how could you sink in something more dense than water? Well, my 10th grade Biology teacher told me I was wrong and that it did in fact suck things in. Well I finally learned something during one of my engineering classes the other day (soil mechanics, to be more specific). I was RIGHT! All quick sand is is a sandy soil with an upward water force in it. This water spaces the soil particle out just enough so that they hardly touch. Therefore removing any shear strength the soil had. Now, a large object like a car or something would definitely sink because its specific gravity is way more than water, but ours generally isn’t (especially us husky folk). However, you can, in fact, sink because just like in water, if you struggle a lot rather than just breathing regular and floating, you will sink. The bottom line is this: If you ever find yourself in quicksand, just take in a deep breathe and you should pop right up to the surface. You’re welcome.

Okay it’s big time late now and I have a Hydrology test tomorrow (the 2nd of 2 exams (the first of which I screwed the pooch on)) and I need to do oh so well.

goodnight and goodmorrow to you.

Oh yeah, and I shaved for the first time since October, I think. I look retarded.

14 April 2003

Well, that was a bit of a hectic weekend. First off, I didn’t know if we were even going to get to play the National Anthem for my brother’s Eagle Scout ceremony because we were already short one person when Scott found out that he couldn’t make it unless absolutely necessary. Then, I didn’t think we were going have ANY practice time on the piece. And I wasn’t about to go in there and play like crap just to have the song played. Fortunately, Jordan FINALLY got John Kidd to fill Scott’s place. And since we couldn’t seem to find another trombone, Jordan stepped in. Then, on top of all that, I hit all of my high Ab’s. Yeah me. I’m glad it’s all over. I KNOW my parents are glad.

My Jesse is a bit ill and she’s not having a good day today. I hope she gets to nap and feels better.

Even though I dislike driving 2.5 hours home, I enjoy home. Especially lately. I don’t care much for the atmosphere here at school. It tends to put me in somewhat of an off mood, which leads to a bad kind of mood. I always feel better after a weekend at home. Even though this was a busy weekend, I had the nicest car ride back to school with Jess. First, my allergy medicine knocked me out big time for about half an hour and then we stopped and grabbed food and a parfait from McDonald’s and the temperature in the car was perfect and I was reclined and just so comfortable. Thank you, Jesse, for a lovely car ride.

At this point it’s hard to even imagine that stuff happened last week like it did. I’m not even sure why it did. I talked stuff out with a few people (which turned out fine), but left a large part open. It appears to have closed itself up, but for how long I don’t know. History would dictate that it’s only a matter of time before it opens up again. The problem is that I don’t know how to fix it nor does it seem I can avoid it. I don’t know what to do. I guess just wait till next time. I’d rather not, but I don’t think it’s in my power anymore to do otherwise.

I hope this last part of school doesn’t end my life. I think it will though. Dang, it.


08 April 2003

POC 2: (my last public explaination)

Do you guys understand that I'm not trying to single each one of you out by pointing out problems? That wasn't my reasoning behind what I wrote. And I thought I made that clear when I included myself, but I guess most of you read around that. If you're going to read my journal, I wish you read it exactly how I write it instead of making assumptions. I spent a lot of time last night writing my last entry in exactly the words I wanted and I still feel that they are what I mean. None of what I said was a secret or anything. These are things that everyone knows. And I am really sorry that I offended some of you. I didn't write any of this with intentions of offending people or anything like that. I really and truly wrote it for myself. I'd be more than happy to discuss anything with anyone. However, please don't forget that this is my journal and I feel that I have a right to write down how I feel. I'm not trying to slander anyone here or post any big secrets that people shouldn't know. Back to my original statement . . . The reason I pointed something out in EVERYONE was so that I WOULDN'T single out anyone. It was to show that everyone is at fault at times for the environment and atmosphere we live in. Not just me. (Although I'm sure I've done my fair share though.) And lately I've just been wondering why it has to be this way, that's all.


07 April 2003

POINT OF CLARIFICATION: (for the masses I apparently worried and/or offended)

[Maybe my last entry is written in a way that doesn't best display the way i feel. I don't really know if this one explains my words any better, but it will certainly give you insight into what's going through my head.]

No, I don't really want to kick the shit out of you guys for saying something to my girlfriend. That's ridiculous. But sometimes, you guys really piss me off in the stuff that you say to her. She hardly ever warrants it. And yes, I realize that 98% of the time youre just joking, but why does it have to be that way? Why can't HG stop calling scott gay and stupid? Why is Samantha an even bigger target than Scott? Yeah, she says stupid stuff sometimes, but half the time it's not even about some comment she made. It's just said because that's the way you treat her day in and day out. Why does Scholes never talk about anything serious? He has to have an opinion, right? Why am I distancing myself from everyone? Why do I feel like no one around me can relate? Relate to what? I HAVE NO IDEA! Why does Todd give me written "advice" in a manner completely different from the way he speaks to me? I'm not your english professor, Todd. I don't care how fancy you can write. Why does Samantha get so freakin' upset over the silliest of things? And why does Todd think that his situation with Sam is something that has never happened before? You think you've just invented a new relationship scenario? Get real.

Yeah, I understand everyone's cutting down of everyone else is "just the way everyone is" according to Scott, but why? Why have we grown into this lifestyle? Maybe it's healthy and the way it should. I mean, we generally are able to talk stuff out, right? Well, at least hg, scott and myself can. And I'm probably just as guilty as any one in all of this. (Although, I doubt I have been so much lately since I'm recognizing it and it's bothering me.)

Perhaps my thoughts on this (standing up for jesse) aren't the healthiest, but it's not like I've never said anything about this before to everyone. How many times does one have to? I'm sorry that I'm the "way I am", but I don't see you guys making any active effort to change either. And I think that everyone of you knows what it's like to have a sibling or best friend or anyone you care deeply for get made fun of or cut down or yelled at. It's very upsetting, to say the least.

Whether you understand this or not, I don't know. But I do hope you understand that I don't care if jesse is completely wrong about something; if you make her feel bad in any way, I promise, we will have words.


06 April 2003

I went to my FIRST drive-in movie last night! It was AWESOME. It only cost $5 per person, you got to bring as much food and candy in as you wanted, and the movie sound comes in through your car stereo (of course, i had to unplug my amp or my car wouldve been dead in 10 min)! We watched Catch Me If You Can and Just Married. Those are the good parts about last ngiht. The bad part was that I got so mad from the error in directions from Mapquest that I thought I was gonna explode. Luckily, I didn't and we made it there just in time to get a good spot for the movie. Overall, a very successful night.

I started my Science and Engineering vs. Humanities page the other day. I hope it turns out to be a success. Jesse hates the idea that any of us not in Humanities think we might be better than anyone in in Humanities. I think the page is a funny idea that everyone will like. Especially wordy todd. He really went to town with big words and analogies (i guess trying to drive his point home). (too bad he's an ignorant slut) (hahahaha). So we'll see how it turns out.

My dad told me yesterday that I seemed removed lately. I kind of feel like I am. School is doing its usual to me and with all of this Hungary stuff I'm having to prepare for, I'm feeling a bit more distant than usual. I also feel like jesse and I haven't had much time for each other recently. I feel like I'm just kind of . . . there. And I don't think it's going to get any better until school lets out. I have project on project on project coming up and I just don't know how it's going to get better before it gets worse. I don't know how well school treats me. I lot of times I don't like the person it makes me.

What's the deal with todd and jesse? Why can't they get along? Not only that, but didn't todd and sam go their separate ways 2 YEARS ago? Are they afraid to branch out and try new things? Maybe they actually think they're right for each other but aren't ready for it. I don't really know. But back to jesse and todd. Why does he feel like he has to be like, one up on people. It's funny because recently todd and I have been less at odds than we have been in a long time. I never even knew why we were and todd never really explained it when i asked him.So as our relationship gets better, theirs gets worse. It doesn't have to be that way. I also feel bad for jesse at times. Like when she tells me how tired she gets tired of scott saying, "you're so pretty" or any of todd's random-mean-time comments (and it's not just scott or todd, but from everyone), it really makes me wanna go kick the shit out of the next person who says anything questionable to her. I guess I'm biased, but I don't think it matters.

I gotta run home and eat now. Be back later.

[11.0 pm]
Okay I'm back now. This lab is going NO where. So I decided to scan crap from my wallet. I'll put it on my website. It's gonna be sweet.

I don't understand it when HG puts up such a fight over something stupid that he's usually being ridiculous about. I think that maybe he does realize he's being ridiculous at some point, but by that time he's already put too much into and can't turn back. I don't know.

that is all.