26 June 2006

Did you know that The Mountain Goats have put out about 40 albums/EPs?

Me neither.

I think one of my pet peeves lately has been: small bouts of depression. And I don't mean like real depression, just the kind that brings you down for the better part of a day. Maybe just a morning or afternoon even. There are several things that seem to get me. And they're lame. I know it, but they're there. For example, the feeling you get when no one seems to be as interested or impressed by something as you. Everybody knows this and I'm sure despise it just as much as I. The fun thing about a blog or YouTube or MySpace is that it's outlet for displaying what you like or are impressed with or just have general interest in. It's especially fun to think about the possibility of others getting that same enjoyment out of something you've publicly displayed (or rather, enjoyment from you). And when you're out of school and don't live around all your friends because you now have a real life, this outlet becomes more important (at least to me I think). Well, something recently that disappointed me (and this isn't huge, it's just been on my mind) was WOXY. And I'll be the first to make excuses for them. They had their music festival (Desdemona) going on this week and frankly, they're probably fairly busy with most real life problems and whatnot just like everyone else. Anyway, my iota of beef is this, I kind of thought at least someone from their organization would be interested in how my Bonnaroo experience was since I did win tickets from them. (I seriously feel like a whinny (whiney?) baby right now, but I'm going to continue... because that's what babies do.) so I sent them several emails saying I was back and had an awesome time and wrote about it a put up pictures and whatnot, only to have no response whatsoever. Nothing. I checked my sitemeter and there were 4(?) visits from somewhere in Ohio close to Cincinnati so I guess that was someone from the station? I mean, I'm not asking for my picture to be put up on the front page or anything, I just thought, I don't know, maybe there'd be some sort of follow-up? Even from like, a station manager or something. I mean, I was thrilled about getting to tell them about it. Like I was some ambassador or something. And like I said this isn't huge by any means. I still went, had a blast, and (similar to my stay in Hungary) no one is going to fully understand it like someone who was there. So why complain? Because that's what the internet is for. Seriously though, I'm sure WOXY gets 250,000 emails a day, but I always feel like I'm the doofus kid in school trying to be cool and get the attention of one of the cool kids whenever I email or have interaction with WOXY. I'm sure it's just me. I mean, they did essentially give me $400 (And if by some bizarre chance someone from WOXY does read this, please don't blacklist me or something. That would be extremely disappointing.)

(the art of Such n Such at Bonnaroo)

good grief. Where was I? I don't even know. It's hard to express yourself on this topic without sounding like you just want attention. I don't want attention. I just want relationships. With everyone. Does anyone else feel like that? Like all you really want are relationships with more people. Maybe even more so, DEEPER relationships with the people you know. How incredible that time from high school through college was for producing meaningful relationships; where you could just pour hours and hours of your day into growing with each other and learning everything you possibly could, then go to bed and wake up the next morning ready to start it all again. I miss that. And I'm way off topic from where I began. (And reading over this, I think maybe this whole things sounds really stupid. Oh well. I'm sure someone will let me know.)

(she's so cute)

maybe I just have a case of the "Mondays."

(perhaps i should add: i'm not mad at WOXY or even upset, i was just... i guess my feelings got hurt just a little. i'm sure there's a logical reason for it all. so... not mad, just disappointed.)


jesse said...

whinny.like a horse?

Josh said...

well how would you spell it?

Corey said...

Josh, it's perfectly normal and healthy to be craveing deep meaningful relationships and to miss the ones that are far away...God created us for community. I mean God is esstenially himself community - the three in one deal. God saw man alone and even said that is wasn't good. I encourage you to keep seeking people out...have you guys made it to a small group at church yet?
Also, your year has been one of a lot of change and growth...you're graduated college, gotten a "grown up" job, and gotten married...while all of those things are huge joys and blessings (especially Jesse) you've also lost stuff too. So greive the loss of freedom, childhood, and lack of responsiblity - that way you won't pine after them instead be able to look forward to the awesome future that awaits you!
I love you a lot brother and thank you for sharing your heart! I'm a pretty big fan of you Hunters...don't make me come back up there!

Josh said...

thanks. it's hard for me to just put times away. especially those that i enjoyed. and i do look forward towards future fun, but i guess i'm always trying to have at least part of the past in the present. i feel like there has to be a compromise. maybe i've even found it. it's just tough.

(i'm glad you're always willing to make the terrible trip up to ugly tennessee for us :P )

Corey said...

it's my way of giving back...my sacrifice if you will. I do wonder when my next visit should be???

jesse said...

here's a comment for you(in the form of a question): why don't you take a video of your lovely wife and let people know how great you've got it? and show'm my smokin' new r-blades?!

Corey said...

could it be a video of you rollar blading becasue that'd do it both and possibly be funny!

Tonya P. said...

Jesse... you are too funny! Josh... as sad as it may be...you are growing up. I don't know how old you are, but I am 35 and still trying to grow up. Like you, I really, really enjoyed high school for developing relationships. I had it pretty weird growing up (my parents weren't really around much) and my life was mostly my friends. It is hard to let that part of your life go. I know... it has taken me almost 17 years to realize that I am a grown up now :) Josh, you sound A LOT like me. I have it sooooo great.... great marriage (my 2nd)... 3 great kids... brand new home, nice cars...nice little hobby scrapbooking business... don't have to work outside the home...just have it pretty good... but I always feel like I want more. Which brings on a little depression and I have to remind myself how good I have it. Like you, I always want to be in the limelight. That is actually quite odd that the station you mentioned didn't want to do a follow-up on your trip. I would have felt EXACTLY like you! So, anyway, I just happened upon your blog and thought I'd let you know that unless I am REALLY weird, your feelings aren't that abnormal. Hope all is well. Take care, Tonya P.

Josh said...

well, first off, thanks for reading so far down my blog. that's an investment! and secondly, thanks for your input. it sounds like this is something that will always be a struggle of sorts. i'm sure it will get slightly easier down the road, but hopefully i can find a middle ground between 24/7 friends and no friends at all in the mean time. thanks again and good luck with everything.