14 April 2007

after you see ATHFCMFT, this'll make sense

hopefully that'll appear above (if not go here). here are the incredible lyrics (courtesy of billiard's searches) to the faux "let's go out the lobby" song that played before the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie. simply priceless.

"Cut You Up With a Linoleum Knife"
Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!

You came here, watch it!
Don't like it? Walk out!
We still have all your f-ing money!

Do not kick or jiggle the seat in front of you while you are sitting there.
I am everywhere at once and I will cut you up.
If you make out here I will cut your lips and tounge from your head with a LINOLEUM KNIFE!!!!

Do not explain the plot,
if you don't understand then you should not be here
Your money is now our money and we will

Do not crinkle your food wrapers loudly,
be considerate to others
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.

Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside.
Run it over after the show.

If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid,
and dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes.

This is a copyrighted movie for Time-Warner
If I find you sold it on eBay
I will break into your house and tear your wife in half

here's the other alternative (video of song and subtitles only.)


Billy H. said...

you forgot part of a line. It goes...

living in the streets....(run over it after the show).

That has to be one of the most brilliant openings to a movie that I have ever seen. I can't wait to find a video of it.

Josh said...

yeah, i grabbed these from someone else's transcription of it. there was no way i could even understand a word in that song.

i tried to find it on bittorrent but i actually couldn't. i couldnt find the movie. really weird. guess the warning worked :)

Billy H. said...

Yeah, when I heard that song online I couldn't hardly understand a word of it. I found some bittorrent's of the soundtrack but they're on Demonoid.com. The problem is that they are not accepting new members unless you have an invite code. So if you happen to know anyone that has a screen name on there, we should get them to send some invites our way

Josh said...

i have a username!